‘Twas The War On Christmas

This poem is our tribute to the fallen heroes in the War on Christmas. Go forth and win the culture war, Christian soldiers!

Written by Ethan Nicolle
Read by Dave DeAndrea

Full poem:

‘Twas the night before Christmas; the battle was waged,
This holiday was not all-inclusive, they raged.
Landmines were buried under piles of snow,
Waiting for orthodox statements of faith; then, they’d blow.
Christian soldiers lay traumatized, half of them dead,
As visions of Starbucks cups flashed in their heads.
On a Satanic banner of blasphemous disgrace,
They took Christ out of Christmas, put an X in his place.
Nativity scenes, now scenes of horror and destruction,
And the ACLU’s onslaught of liberal corruption.
They tore down their green and red decorations,
Replaced them with rainbow flags — Oh, what devastation!
But out of the smoldering wreckage and despair,
Came a marmalade glow with a halo of hair.
Have hope, Chrisitan soldier! Be of good cheer!
They can’t take away Christmas; no, not this year.
They can take down the trees, silence our songs,
But there, in the White House, a warrior stands strong.
A president eternal, Trump, stands in their way.
The War on Christmas isn’t over — no, not today!